Any normal human being feels anxious at the thought of their own demise, but why should the fear of death stop us from living?
Too many people are paralysed by their fears. The fear of loss, the fear of separation, the fear of humiliation, and ultimately, the fear of death.
It consumes them.
They stop doing things, or approach them very differently, because fear has taken hold. They hesitate, they hide and they live out their lives in anguish.
We know that fear can keep us safe and stop us from making foolish mistakes, but when it controls us, we suffer greatly. As long as that shadow follows us around, the more desperate, enraged and regretful we become.
Death is inevitable
We are all going to die. It’s inevitable. Each tick of the clock moves us closer to death so it’s important to sit with that thought and accept it.
The more you sit with death and understand it, the less it will overwhelm you. It may continue to create sensations within you, but it will no longer have such an influence over your life.
This practice, of sitting with death, has long been performed in the east to get acquainted with death and in a way, befriend it.
Once we understand that life and death are inextricably linked, that one does not exist without the other, we can face the process with greater poise.
Meditating, contemplating and being mindful that death can strike at any time forces us to wake up. It creates a sense of urgency in every moment and encourages greater focus and effort in living.
As Indian spiritual teacher Osho said: “Death is a constant reminder – ‘I can come any moment. Be prepared.’ And what is the preparation? The preparation is: live life so totally, so intensely, be so aflame with it that when death comes there is no complaint, there is no grudge.”
Living quells the fear of death and should be carried out with the wildest intensity.
Stop fearing death. Live.
The way of the Samurai
Yamamoto Tsunetomo, a samurai who later became a Zen Buddhist priest believed that becoming one with death in one’s thoughts, even in life, was the highest attainment of purity and focus.
In Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai, he wrote: “The way of the samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one’s body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one’s master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead.”
Samurai were encouraged to contemplate their own death as a way to becoming truly courageous. By freeing themselves from the fear of death they became focussed, fierce and fully committed to victory.
This is obviously an extreme example, and may be unsettling for some, but it illustrates the point quite graphically.
Meditation to stop fearing death
The following meditation is designed to reduce our fears and anxiety surrounding death. There are many variations on this meditation for you to try, including visualisations and contemplations, but this is a great place to start.
Stop fearing death, a meditation:
- Sit comfortably, with your spine erect, either in a chair or cross-legged on a cushion.
- Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and feel the life in each breath.
- Notice the connection between your legs and the chair or floor. Notice any sensations of pressure, warmth, tingling, vibration, etc. Feel your back supporting you. Feel your arms resting at your sides.
- As you sit, become aware of this life-force. The beating heart. The flow of blood. The breath. The pulse. The warmth and the radiant energy that is you. Notice the sensations of life that arise and pass away. Let them come and let them go.
- Now, imagine your final moments. This is it. The last thought. The last breath. The last beat of the heart. Let them go, as you will no longer be needing them. The last feeling. The last emotion. Let them go, as you will no longer be needing them.
- Notice the peace, tranquility and beauty of this moment. This is the end.
- Stay in this space for at least two minutes, or until you feel ready to finish.
- Open your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and return to your life anew.
You will always fear death to some degree, but you can learn to limit that fear. Through meditation, visualisation and contemplation on death you will ease the anxiety and better still, heighten your state of life.
Disclaimer: Meditating on death is not suitable for everyone, and should be avoided by those with severe anxiety, depression or trauma. Please consult your healthcare or mental health practitioner before attempting this exercise.