Confidence improves our life in many ways. The thoughts we have, the actions we take and the way people respond to us are all enhanced when we’re in a confident state.
Take a moment to think of any top performer: Lionel Messi, Simone Biles, Roger Federer. They have many attributes that we admire but the aura that surrounds them is self-confidence. And those highlight reels are a result of confidence when it counts.
Their confidence feeds their performance and their performance feeds their confidence.
Even on the local level, there will be someone you know that has a level of confidence that you admire. They might be a confident runner, speaker or business person. Or, all of them. And that confidence allows them to get the most out of life.
Self-confidence is believing in yourself. It is valuing your individuality and your contribution to the world. It is trusting your abilities, your choices and your actions. It is being sure, in the face of resistance and criticism from others, that you can and will reach your goal.
Very few of us are born confident but it’s a quality that we can all develop.
Why is confidence so important?
Have you ever wanted to try something but didn’t because you lacked confidence? Or, tried to shoot your shot and failed because of last minute hesitation?
A lack of confidence undermines us in many ways. It impedes our abilities and makes us shy away from opportunities. By raising doubt in our minds, focussing on negative consequences and giving in to fear we hit the breaks and hold ourselves back.
So much is lost due to a lack of confidence.
We don’t try things we’d like to try, ask the questions we want to ask, or go for opportunities that would change our lives for the better.
Confidence is something that we need to live a rewarding life. Our goals, ideas, and potential can only be realised if we build confidence to support them.
Confidence helps us to:
- Feel good about ourselves
- Act with purpose and certainty
- Admit our mistakes and learn from them
- Perform better
- Communicate better
- Be more attractive
- Go for the things we want
- Take risks
When you build confidence in one are of your life, that can spill out into other areas of your life. A confident athlete, for example, can also be a confident communicator. Confidence is transferable and unlocks a wide range of qualities.
Just think of all those things that you could accomplish if you were a more confident individual.
True confidence vs. false confidence
True confidence is based on a combination of ability and positive affirmation – your skills plus your self-image. This is what we want.
If you are talented but have a negative self-image, you will undermine yourself over and over again. If you talk a good game but don’t have the skills to support it, then no matter how you act or what you tell yourself, you will always feel insufficient deep down.
True confidence comes when you slot these pieces together and allow them to work in harmony. Commit to a programme of skill development and mental cultivation and you’ll build confidence that’s hard to shake.
Confidence building techniques
There are many ways to build confidence. Here are some of the most practical and accessible that you can put into practice today:
Meditate daily – Meditation is known for building many qualities but the self-awareness you develop can also promote greater self-confidence. You get to understand yourself through meditation and learn how to regulate your emotions more skilfully.
Sharpen your skills (with a focus on innate abilities) – Write down your 5 greatest strengths. Those things that came naturally to you and are easier for you to develop. If you focus on your gifts, you can make a great deal of progress in skill and in confidence. That doesn’t mean you should ignore your weaknesses, but aim to turn your natural powers into superpowers.
Build your Meta-Skills – Meta-skills are skills that unlock other skills. They help you to learn, adapt and grow more effectively. Even in uncomfortable situations, with the right tools, you can determine what actions will help you to succeed, then act with confidence.
Set and achieve goals – The process of setting and achieving goals gives you purpose, direction and momentum. Little wins continually boost your self-confidence and, in time, turn into mighty achievements.
Replay past achievements – Write a list of 10 things that you are really proud of and make a document or slideshow using any photos, videos, and certifications that support those achievements. When you review and replay past successes you strengthen those memories and deepen the sense that, “I can do this!”
Use your posture – You can change your feelings instantly by changing the way you sit, stand and move. A strong and confident posture will make you feel strong and confident. Practice movement and postural awareness whenever possible and if you notice yourself slouching or dragging your heels during the day, simply switch into a more dynamic position.
Build your strength and fitness – It’s hard to feel good when you are ill, out of shape or in pain. A lack of health and fitness undermines confidence greatly. Include weight lifting, mobility work and cardio in your weekly routine to build a strong and resilient body. Stable blood sugar, hormone and energy levels also promote a more confident state.
Avoid stimulants – Anxiety subtly undermines your confidence and while stimulants may give you a short boost for a workout, they can make you feel jittery the rest of the day. Keep caffeine and other stimulants to the bare minimum, or eliminate them completely.
Get a full nights sleep, every night – Even mild sleep deprivation can wreak havoc with your memory, mood and overall self-image. While there are many factors that affect sleep, you can follow a gentle sleep ritual at the same time each night to fall asleep easier and sleep deeper for longer. This will support repair and recovery and make sure you feel good the following day.
Pick one of these practices today and add it to your routine. Try to be consistent for the next month and notice how it impacts your self-confidence. Add another practice, and then another, until you have a reliable set of habits that continually reinforce your self-esteem.