Are you a chronic worrier? Do you get stuck in your own head? Learn how to stop overthinking everything and be more relaxed about life.
Athletes overthink their performance. Artists overthink their work. Parents overthink their responsibilities. It’s natural to overthink from time to time, but for some people it can be debilitating.
Can I do this? I’m not good enough. What if it goes wrong? I heard John tried 3 times and still failed. Am I making a mistake? She’s doing it better than me. Why do they look so happy when I’m struggling this much? What’s this spot on my leg? Oh my god, I’m dying!
These are just a few of the conversations we have with ourselves when our minds go into overdrive.
Overthinking increases stress and anxiety. It fills us with doubt and insecurity. It amplifies all the negative emotions and makes us too scared to do anything. When we overthink, we go round in circles, and effectively dig a hole for ourselves.
If you’ve been suffering as a result of overthinking and would like to get out of that hole, there are a few simple strategies that you can put into practice. Overthinking is a habit, after all, that can be interrupted and replaced with something healthier.
What are the symptoms of overthinking?
We all have different challenges in our lives, but overthinking manifests in similar ways. Here are some of the most common symptoms of overthinking:
- Anxiety
- Fatigue
- Low motivation
- Poor concentration
- Negative self-talk
- Sleeplessness
- Depression
- Low confidence
- Inability to relax and enjoy life
- Worrying about the future
- Ruminating about the past
- Jumping from thought to thought
- Having the same conversation with yourself, over and over
- Inability to make decisions
- Failure to take action – paralysis by analysis
Overthinking can reduce our quality of life and prevent us from doing many things that we would like to do.
How to stop overthinking everything
Overthinking is a habit that many people have intensified over the years. And while this particular habit is often deep rooted, it can be broken.
With a few simple practices we can learn to think less and live more. We can let go of obsessive thoughts and replace them with more empowering thoughts. We can get out of our own way and be more confident in our actions.
In that spirit, here’s 8 ways to stop overthinking and act with confidence:
1. Reduce the stress in your life
Overthinking is often the result of stress and anxiety. Whether we have a demanding job, financial troubles, serious illness, or a life changing event on the horizon, when the stress is high, we typically panic and overthink things.
Taking a systematic approach to reduce the stress in our lives can bring back a sense of control and set our mind at ease. When there are fewer things to worry about and we’re the one in the driver’s seat, we feel more relaxed about everything.
Make time for rest and relaxation each day and get a good night’s sleep every night. Exercise, naps, progressive muscle relaxation, NSDR, hot/cold therapy and massage can all be used to enhance recovery and increase your resilience to stress.
2. Focus your mind
The overthinking mind is an undisciplined mind. It’s allowed to roam wherever it wants to, and make all kinds of mess. Often referred to as monkey mind, it can be impulsive, chaotic and destructive.
While we can’t cage or control the monkey mind, we can focus it and harness its energy. Through meditation and other mindfulness practices we learn how to concentrate, calm down, observe our thoughts and let them flow without triggering a state of panic.
In a mindful state, we’re able to focus for longer and take more constructive action in our lives.
I recommend meditating for 10-20 minutes each day at a regular time that works for you.
3. Set an energising goal
Goals give us energy. They help to focus and quiet the mind by providing something constructive to work towards. When we achieve goals, we feel good about ourselves and are motivated to do more.
Start with a single goal. Pick something that you want to accomplish over the next 6 weeks and can achieve at a stretch. Then, break the goal down into daily actions that move you steadily closer.
Whether you achieve the goal or not, there’s a strong possibility that whenever you are working towards it, you will be worrying far less. That’s because thinking is being replaced by doing.
4. Reduce your choices
When we have infinite choices, it’s hard to make just one with any degree of certainty. We go around in circles looking for the ‘best’ option when the truth is, there rarely is one.
Decision making is easier when we put some constraints in place and reduce the number of choices we have to make. You’d be surprised at how creative and effective you can be when you set some limitations.
Whenever you’re faced with a challenge, practice reducing your choices and make firm decisions. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. You’re certainly more inclined to take action and learn from the steps you’ve taken.
5. Keep a journal
A journal is a great tool for capturing and understanding your thoughts. It offers a safe outlet for pent up anxiety and helps to codify the turmoil inside. Many people find journaling to be a great comfort during difficult times.
Just before bedtime, record your experiences for the day. Note your thoughts, feelings and anything significant that happened. Don’t judge yourself, or try to create a perfect account, just write what comes to mind.
You can use an app or a print journal, and you can practice gratitude if you like. Daily journalling can help to calm your mind, focus on the positives and remember all the things you are thankful for.
6. Talk to someone you trust
Another effective way to get out of our own head is to talk with someone you trust. That could be a therapist, priest, friend or family member. Turn to someone you are comfortable with, who is good at listening and share your thoughts with them.
Talking is an effective way to release the pressure and confusion inside.
If you need to get things off your chest, or a little bit of tough love, turn to a close friend or family member. Which friend(s) are good at listening, who can help you through your current challenges?
Talking therapy is a recognised method of treating mental, emotional, personality, and behavioural disorders using techniques such as discussion, listening, cognitive behavioural therapy, behavioural activation and counselling. Some types of talking therapy, will suit you more than others.
7. Change things up
Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a rut? Consumed by a sense of inertia? Overcome by a feeling of powerlessness?
When our daily routine is a grind, and we’re not in control of our outcomes, we’re at greater risk of overthinking. Helplessness can trigger a sense of panic and obsessive thought.
One simple way to prevent this, is to change things up. Do something that’s out of the norm to challenge your mind and re-invigorate your being.
Go for a hike somewhere new. Talk to someone you haven’t spoken to before. Or, try something as simple as working from a different location this week. Just make sure to shake the tree once in a while.
8. Stay in motion
Action is one of the best remedies for overthinking. When we’re busy and when we’re in flow, the brain is fully engaged in what it’s doing. It needs to concentrate on the task at hand, so there’s little bandwidth left for anything else.
Keep things moving in your work life. Keep creating every day. Keep your body moving through sport and adventure. Get into the flow of life to combat stagnation and prevent aimless thoughts from dominating your mind.
You build skills through action and, in turn, steadily increase your confidence.
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Featured Image: @anthonytran
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